HOW TO SPOT A SLUT
Find out if You Are A Slut
It isn’t easy to spot her at first but you can eventually get there. You need to be cautious. She isn’t dumb, she is smart, and some say she is malicious too. Some call her manipulative and others call her needy, greedy, always drooling for more. As if there is no end to her desires, she engulfs everything that comes her way. Beware of her, she is a slut. This satirical article discusses about slut shaming by trying to urge the reader to find one near them.
According to Oxford Dictionary, a slut is defined as a woman who has many casual sexual partners. Another definition the dictionary provides defines slut as a woman with low standards of cleanliness. We can clearly notice from these definitions that slut isn’t a positive term.
Day in and day out, many girls are faced with situations where people refer to them as sluts. This word is used with so much disgrace that it urges us to think about our societal demands from a girl. Why should we call someone a slut? We use this word as an abuse and this begs a question. Why is a woman who has casual sexual partners considered evil?
One of the surface level reasons for this can be that sex is perceived to be ‘bad’. We will be able to understand this line of thought better if for once, we try to change just one word from the definition of a slut. So, instead of saying, a slut is a woman who has many casual sexual partners, we say- a slut is a woman who has many casual reading partners.
We have done just one thing-changed just one word. Does the definition of slut by this logic still sound negative?
Definitely not, this woman sounds like someone all parents would love to raise! She would be a scholar when she grows up, she would be a voracious reader, she would be smart and geeky and that’s sort of heartwarming if you ask your parents. Just by changing one word, we have altered the entire meaning of this sentence and by doing so; we have raised the possibility of actually using the word slut as a compliment.
This exercise may have made it much clear to our psyche that ‘sex’ is indeed perceived with negativity especially in the context of its usage with women. We might ask ourselves, why? Why is Virgin Mary, Jesus’s mother, a virgin? And how in the world can she reproduce a child if she is a virgin? There need not be a requirement for us to disregard the birth of Jesus but what we can do is that we can start observing patterns like these. Patterns of popular beliefs, some may call them myths about an ideal woman. What’s our obsession with the apparent purity of a woman? Can a slut be a pure woman?
Slut indeed can be a positive term even without altering a single word from its definition. We need to allow women to take pride in their sexualities. In my experience, no one understands this better than a classmate of mine in college. She was a gregarious and smart girl. She wouldn’t come to most classes but to those classes she came, she would bewilder the teacher with her brilliant questions. Yet one thing was peculiar about her. She would greet her friends, the ones she felt most comfortable with by using the word, ‘slut’ and often times she would say it in hindi, ‘randi’. Wouldn’t you get offended if someone called you that?
The phrase, if a man has too much consensual sex then he is a stud but if a woman has too much consensual sex then she is a slut; this phrase begets us to open up our minds, let’s explore it. He is a stud because a man’s masculinity is in a certain sense celebrated if he engages in sexual encounters. Her femininity on the other hand is not enhanced if she does the same, if she finds sexual freedom before a marital-relation, she is deemed the status of a slut.
We all do it, in our closed rooms, no matter how polished we may appear we do it, and we can’t feel sorry about this hypocrisy unless we know what exactly is wrong behind this binary. In our subconscious mind, the hypocritical moral standards for a man and a woman seem so distant that we feed on these differences, in movies, in plays, advertisements and popular stories; they incessantly feed us with this encrypted pattern of a different moral code for a man and a woman. Slut shaming doesn’t end if we renounce its meaning, slut shaming ends when we stop the unnecessary moral policing. We need to stop it on the internet, in schools, in colleges, in parties and in marriages.
Back in college, surprisingly, none of us got offended when our classmate would refer to us a slut. She had no idea about any of the girl’s sexual lives yet she would say this word out in the open, with open arms, she’d greet us, shouting and she’d expect us to greet her with a hug after being called a slut. And we did, we hugged her because we knew that when she used this word, she was redeeming us of the society’s closeted demands from us. We felt free, I felt free. She used this word as a compliment; she gave a new meaning to this apparently repellent word. What others took to be negative connotations associated with this word, she took them in pride. For her, there was no slut shaming, she would look into the mirror, smile and say ‘I am a beautiful slut!’. Hence, if you can find a slut in the mirror, you can find a slut anywhere.